The Essential Art of Play

Welcome to the September Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Through Play

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how challenging discipline situations can be met with play. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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Most parents realize that "play" time is integral to a developing child, but why? Playing is an art that every animal engages in and provides opportunities to explore, interact, vent & converse, learn, improvise & create*, and be.


So how does one parent through play? Easy! The same way one parents any other time! Teaching children how to play and take advantage of the nothingness on their schedules should be a priority.


Play certainly does not have to be, nor should be, a rigorous exercise. Nonetheless, lessons, of sorts, can be incorporated into playing so that "nothingness" turns into "somethingness."

"My name is Niko; I like to play!"
[This is fresh after his birthday, when all of the toys' pieces were accounted for and assembled...]

Take for example - since Niko just got a whole bunch of this stuff for his birthday (of course, you don't need to use any specific brand of toy, toys at all, or even objects! Invisible items work great, too, and really stretch the imagination of both parent and child, especially as children grow older and learn to improvise more proficiently) - play food and play cooking- and tableware.  Niko loves food and loves even more the play with it. Since real food can be a bit messy, play food is a great alternative. He received an awesome set of veggies and fruits that are held together by velcro and are able to be split into logical pieces (the banana peels; there are peas in a peapod; an avocado can be sliced in half; etc.). The sets came with a cutting board and a plastic knife (which may be his favorite piece... anyways...). It's awesome watching him firstly mimic me, as he sees me in the kitchen, slicing and dicing, peeling and halving. Even better, secondly, he likes to share. Now, he's just shy of 13 months old... and is sharing? Yeah! Not just with his play food (which is where it started in the last two weeks) but he's moved on to sharing real food, too! He's been a fan of sharing with the dog for a while (whom he also offers play foods to), but to share with me?! What?! Third, he's also learned to clean up. I know he is still young, but I am trying very hard to instill the message of one toy at a time, and, occasionally, he's showing that it is sinking in.

It's amazing how much can be learned during something so fun. Playing teaches children to...

• Be responsible
• Children, of course, have little responsibility - help clean up toys, keep their room reasonably tidy within their means, maybe help with some other small tasks when asked. A great way to let them experience a little bit of responsibility without actually having any responsibility is through role-playing. Maybe Baby wants to be Mommy for the day (or until it's time to make lunch). Or does he want a dog? Want to be a teacher? A policeman/woman? Fire engine? (Uh, yeah, he can be a fire engine if he wants to be! They have responsibilities, too! Like WEEeeOooOo-ing). Encourage your child to take on roles in which there is an inherent set of responsibilities and gently push that those responsibilities be met (Baby is Mommy? I want some water!; Police Officer? I see a criminal! I see an expired meter!!!). These small responsibilities can be rewarding when completed and can make a little one feel important. Most favorably, they can switch their responsibilities and have a new set every day! The possibilities are endless!

Niko's Favorite Role: Eccentrically-Dressed Chicken Farmer

• Improvise
• Lauren at Hobo Mama recently had a great post about being a "Yes - And" parent, in both the immediate improvisational meaning as in thinking on your toes, witty responses type stuff but also as in improvising activities and solutions to even out the mundane reality your (or at least my) life may be and the fantastic wishes of your four year old. By setting examples of creatively meeting in the middle, secretly you are teaching your child to find novel solutions to problems that are too novel themselves to be solved with the most boring solution. By teaching children to think creatively, they are able to draw better conclusions and engage in more proficient critical thinking.

"Mom, my name is NOT Da-Sein! I am To-Be-Da-Sein-To-Others-To-Be-Unto-Myself."

• Develop Intellectually & Individually (Self-Actualization)
• Children learn by mimicry, and through encouraging children to try to do what they see (with appropriate help when needed), small steps can be taken towards a rewarding type of self-sufficiency and ever-piqued curiosity. Discovering solutions often leads to additional questions, and it is through the act of asking questions and developing critical thinking that self-actualization flourishes. Descartes said it sweetly, "Cogito, ergo sum." - "I think, therefore I am." The pinnacle and point of self-actualization in which we constantly and repeatedly reach stages of actualization, only to find another to be achieved ahead.**

Play is an obviously integral yet vastly overlooked area that children depend on to grow developmentally. Play provides respite from responsibilities (for both parents and babes!), opportunities for the imagination to exercise, activity for the body, and pathways to become versed in what comprises human-ness. If you do not already, take time to play with your children daily. Even 30 minutes of devoted playtime can make a significant difference in the ease with which he or she will hit developmental milestones and astound you.

Notes:
*This post by Code Name: Mama is my most favorite ever. Every time I see a Monster anything, I think of this. I can only hope that when Niko is more cognizant, he will enjoy doing activities like this because it's awesome!
**I'm a huge Philosophy nerd, sue me - I could go into a huge Hegelian argument here with some spicy Heidegger on top, but there is too much dust keeping my books shut. I really love the school of thought surrounding the actualization and self-actualization of Da-Sein, both -of-and-in-itself and -of-and-to-others.

What are your thoughts on play? How do you do it? Share in the comments or on the FaceBook.

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon September 13 with all the carnival links.)

• On being a more playful parent — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine shares how the Playful Parenting book impacted her.
• Parenting a toddler through play — Alicia at I Found My Feet lists some examples of how she uses play to parent through everyday tasks and challenges.
• Splashing in Puddles — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares how she learned to get dirty and have fun with her little boy.
• Say Please — Cassie at There's a Pickle in My Life explains how they taught their son manners by "play," showing that actions speak louder than words.
• No Nanny Needed — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life wishes parenting through play was her only responsibility during the day.
• I'll Run Away With Gypsies — Nikalee at Spotted Pandemonium maneuvers physical and emotional obstacles while spinning playful tales, jumping through hoops, and inspiring the kids to clean the living room.
• A Promise To My Daughter — Lindsey at An Unschooling Adventure writes a poem for her daughter promising to use play instead of anger when facing difficult situations.
• Parenting Through Play — Not Always Easy But Always Rewarding — Amy at Peace4Parents discusses how play hasn't always come easily to her, the power of appreciative observation, and how her family learns together through play.
• Imagination Plays a Role in Our Parenting — Tree at Mom Grooves shares how parents can use play to set the foundation for communication and understanding.
• A Box of Crayons — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction talks about how a simple box of crayons has become a wonderful parenting and teaching tool.
• The Essential Art of Play — Ana at Pandamoly shares some of her favorite lessons available for young ones through play.
• The Art of Distraction — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro shares a list of distracting alternatives to harsh punishments in tough parenting situations.
• Grace and Courtesy Games at Home or School — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now has ideas for grace and courtesy games that help you encourage courteous behavior without reprimanding your child.
• I am woman, hear me roar! — Mrs Green from Little Green Blog shares how one simple sound can diffuse an argument in an instant.
• Getting Cooperation Through Play — Amyables at Toddler In Tow talks about respecting the worldview of a preschooler by using play to encourage connection and cooperation.
• Playful Parenting = Extra Energy?? — Momma Jorje didn't think she had the energy for playful parenting. See what she was surprised to learn…
• Dance Party Parenting — Laura from A Pug in the Kitchen learned how to be the parent her children need through play.
• Wrestling Saved My Life — Wrestling is as vital to her son's well-being as babywearing once was, finds Hannah at Wild Parenting.
• Parenting through play — By playing with her children, Tara from MUMmedia is given amazing opportunites to teach, train and equip her children for life.
• Parenting Through Play Starts in Infancy — In a guest post at Natural Parents Network, Issa from LoveLiveGrow shares that though she only has a 3-month-old, playful parenting has already started.
• Play Before Sleep — Adrienne at Mommying My Way writes about how playing and singing with her son before he falls asleep helps calm her frustrations that tend to arise at night.
• Playful Parenting — Or 5 Lessons My Son Has Taught Me About Parenting Through Play — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama has learned to be a better parent by following her toddler's lead in play.
• Hurry up! Hurry up! I mean it! Quack, quack, quack! — Kellie at Our Mindful Life leads a trail of ducklings
• On the Road: Learning to Play — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante discovers her inner adult through a summer of playing with her children.
• Preventing Tantrums Through Play — Gaby at Tmuffin explains how she keeps her household happy by not taking things too seriously.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Through Play — Lily, aka Witch Mom, redirects unwanted behavior in a toddler using games and play.
• Exaggerating for effect — Lauren at Hobo Mama has learned how to ham it up.
• Handling Big Emotions with Role Playing — Zoie at TouchstoneZ plays at tempering her parental frustrations while helping her children handle some big emotions
• How To Herd Toddlers by Talking Pictorially — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama demonstrates how talking in pictures is a playful way to engage your young child in transitioning from one activity to the next.
• Getting a Toddler to Go Where You Want…Playfully — Sylvia at MaMammalia describes how a game of hide-and-seek can be used to steer a wandering toddler in the direction of her choosing.
• Playful Parenting: Chores That Do Themselves — Remember chores when you were a kid? If chores were this fun for Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey, she wouldn't have needed any reminders!
• Clown School Express: Playing away Fears — MudpieMama describes how she helped her boys confront their fears about starting kindergarten by playing with trains.
• Practicing Playful Parenting — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle realizes that playfulness is the best way through the day and seeks more ways to practice it.
• Today, Tomorrow and Every Day — Starr at Taking Time addresses her children in a letter sharing with them how improtant it is that they spend their childhood playing.
• Learning Through Immersion — Luschka at Diary of a First Child shares how she helps her daughter develop naturally without focusing on teaching, but rather by immersing her in their family's way of life and making her an active part of her environment.
• Play Here Now — Jessica at Instead of Institutions learns and relearns and tries to remember the value of play.
• Play: A Wonderful Parenting Tool — Mamapoekie from Authentic Parenting offers a list of examples on how to use play in real-life parenting situations.
• Playful Parenting — a Book Review — Erica at ChildOrganics shares simple yet sage advice from Dr. Cohen on how play can change your child's life.
• Mock Threats: Turning Real Frustration into Playful Parenting — Threatening is not an effective discipline strategy, but Dionna at Code Name: Mama explains how parents can turn their frustration into playful moments by making "mock threats."
• I'm Sick of Yelling — I Want to Play — Alicia at McCrenshaw's Newest Thoughts realizes she needs to change the way she's parenting and is forming a new plan.
• Sing-along, Brush-along Songs — Shana at Tales of Minor Interest shares a few songs to make brushing her three-year-old's teeth more fun.
• Monster Voice — Ever have those frustrating moments with your kid(s) when you just want to scream? Amy at Anktangle shares a silly strategy for getting through those difficult times.