A Follow-Up: Opening Dialogue with Your HealthCare Provider

Earlier today, I posted about my somewhat disappointing annual appointment with my OB/GYN. Anyone who knows me personally knows that I'm a moderate-to-highly assertive person. You could change my name to Frank because that's just what I am.

Sometimes I forget that situations I nonchalantly find myself in can be quite intimidating to others. For instance, opening dialogue with and questioning information or decisions from a health care provider can be so intimidating for some patients, their needs and concerns go unaddressed when the conversation is not prompted.

I'd like to share this with you: HealthCare Providers, whether it be your OB, Midwife, Endocrinologist, or Pediatrician, are not infallible. Ever. The primary function of any provider is to assist in the management of your health, including but not limited to answering your questions, explaining your options for treatments and procedures, and referring you to appropriate information and alternate caregivers as necessary.

So why are so many people afraid to question their providers? There's no clear answer, but I feel the two main causes are the respect (and rightfully so) we reserve for medical professionals and an uncertainty of how to approach them.

The Good, The Bad and The Indifferent of My Annual...

I had my annual last Friday. You know, that annual. The legs-in-the-stirrups-scoot-down-a-little-poking-and-prodding annual. It wasn't bad, but it really never is. 

I feel like post-baby, my relationship with my doctor has changed. I liked her a lot before I was pregnant - she was originally at the practice I went to for that sort of stuff, and when my doctor retired (he was actually the one who delivered me... Fancy that!), I began seeing her. When she moved to a location much closer to where I lived, it was a sealed deal - she was my doctor. I loved her while I was pregnant. I had a so-so pregnancy, filled with ups and downs (I touch on some of it here in my birth adventure story). She was emotionally supportive, especially when I needed it most; she was very knowledgeable and compassionate; she took really great care of me. In the first months post-partem, she was a God-send and really restored my slightly wavering faith in the medical community (I realize not all doctors are like her, but she was/is great).

OMG... Remember when he was that little?!

But now... I feel like that bond is lacking. I haven't seen her in almost a year. Obviously she knows me - she's been my doctor for over six years now. I went in for my appointment last week optimistic about seeing her but ended up leaving feeling slighted... Unhappy, even, of all things!

OMG Mom is Home... All Day Everyday: A Week-Long Experiment in Connecting

Welcome to the January 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Experiments in Natural Family Living

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have reported on weeklong trials to make their lives a little greener and gentler. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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This month's Carnival of Natural Parenting is pretty cool. Take a crunchy concept, seemingly somewhat foreign, something that piques the interest, and go with it for a week. We're moderately crunchy as it is, and with winter settling into full force, some of our "let's try that!" options were a little... eh... bleh. So, perfectly coinciding with my week off, I decided to "reconnect" with my son in an experiment we called "OHMIGAWD MOM IS HOME ALL DAY EVERYDAY!" I will preface all this with this - I just wanted to do Mama Cloth. Thank you, Breastfeeding, for my immaculately difficult-to-track, non-schedule-adhering menses, yielding not so much as a drop in the 7 weeks I thought about doing this. Of course, I'm sure as I type this, to spite me, my period is on its way shortly - more fodder for a later post, I suppose.

Presentation of Experiment:
One normally highly stressed mother will be removed from her normal work week and given an extended period of "time off." Her 16 month old son, accustomed to being juggled through caregivers throughout the week (literally, a different one each day...) will be expected to interact with nearly solely his mother for a minimum of one week's duration. Highly attentive parenting, reconnections, and lots of love are expected to ensue.


Hypothesis:
I initially hypothesized that Nikola and I would have an uber-relaxing, chill-sesh of a week - playing together, coloring, taking naps, petting the dog, playing dolls (or whatever... with his dolls), etc. I then revised my hypothesis to, "I will survive a week with Nikola." Just kidding - I keep the "uber-relaxing" hypothesis all week. Since I am seldom afforded a day off (weekends not excluded), I wanted to make the most of my time off and reconnect and enjoy his company a la Maternity Leave.


Materials:
-One Mother (Me)
-One Child (Niko)
-One Week, No Work (Because I DID cheat a touch and have my mom take him for his normal Thursday overnight - so I could go out for New Years and go into work for a few hours - we'll count the week from Saturday 24 December through Monday 2 January)

Niko had some "I can feed myself!" Time...

Procedure:
1. Remove Mother from Work-Week Scenario and place at home.
2. Cancel babysitters except for Thursday overnight so Mom can have some holiday celebratory time... I mean, so Nikola can get his "Baba"-fix.
3. Observe.
4. Repeat for 7 full days.


Results:
Mother - Thoroughly enjoyed sleeping-in and cosleeping-in; Picked up many many many toys; Chased constantly; Tried teaching new signs; Taught new words; Heart readjusted to handle larger incoming loads and exporting at a higher frequency; Patience chip updated; Memory space cleared for names of toys, characters, movies, and books; Many, many hugs and kisses administered and received.


Son -Learned at least two (2) new recognizable words ("Snow" and "Woody" - yes, like from Toy Story), possibly more bases; Worked on Potty-Training - going well; Pleasantly surprised with the abundance of boobage available on demand; Many, many hugs and kisses dispensed.


House - The house was pleasantly kept clean(-er than usual).

Ginger got oodles of cuddles from both of us...

Discussion:
An abundance of quality time was spent. Tangible evidence includes the addition of two new "whole" words and at least two new "partial" words to Nikola's vocabulary ("Snow" and "Woody," and "Water" and "SpongeBob" aka "Bob"); use of the potty for both #1's and #2's at least twice per day; soreness of nips from exuberant nursing; huge smiles and a relaxed attitude in Mom. The responsiveness factor of Mom to Son went up considerably, as did the overall demeanor while care-taking. Love factor did not increase dramatically, although robustness capacity was greatly enhanced. Pride and joy were made evident, as was unconditional and deep-rooted love. 

"Hey! You're not usually here! Don't you have work to do?!"

Conclusion:
Toddlers are exhausting yet immensely loving creatures. This week off has really given me perspective into just how tiring taking care of my monster... I mean, son... is. It was really nice to spend a lot of time bonding with him, though - being able to nurse on demand (and past patience at some points... really, do you need to be attached for 70 minutes straight? I know the thing was bled dry after 20...), being there to put him down and wake him up from naps, just being able to play with him without being exhausted, irritated, and over it before it begins (This all sounds kind of bad to say, but trust me, I do it all with a smile at home - despite being exhausted and usually in a unfortunately not-good mood when I come home, sometimes at 18:00 or even later - I force the smile and make sure to be in a good mood for my son - and occasionally countdown the seconds until bed time...). I am so proud of Niko as he buds into a little cognizant being, and I think we were both really fortunate to be able to spend a mostly uninterrupted week together.

If you could take a week to experiment, what would you try? Share with me in the comments or on the FaceBook.

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon January 10 with all the carnival links.)

• Make your own moisturizer! — Megan at boho mama whips up a winter skin-friendly moisturizer.
• Cold Water Only — Brittany at The Pistachio Project talks about how you do not need hot water to wash laundry.
• Family Cloth... Really?? — After lots of forethought and consideration, Momma Jorje finally decides to take the plunge with family cloth.
• Reduce, Reuse, Recycle : 5-5-5 Things A Day — Luschka from Diary of a First Child writes about decluttering her home in an attempt to create a gentler living space. She takes on a new project where she sets a goal of reducing, reusing and recycling every day.
• Pros and cons of family cloth — Lauren at Hobo Mama would love to continue replacing paper products with family cloth … if she could only get over how damp she feels.
• Craftily Parenting — Kellie at Our Mindful Life finds that crafting makes her a better parent.
• Changes — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen couldn't choose just one area to experiment with, so she wrote a long post about all the fun changes initiated in her life!
• Life without Internet: Not all it's Cracked up to Be — Adrienne at Mommying My Way tries to go a week without the Internet, only to realize a healthy dose of Internet usage really helps keep this stay-at-home mom connected.
• My Progression to Raw Milk — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares her natural parenting progression all the way to trying raw milk.
• mama's new little friend. — Sarah at Bitty Bird tries a menstrual cup to "green her period," and is pleasantly surprised when she falls in love with the product!
• Before you throw it out, try homemade laundry soap! — Jennifer at Practical OH Mommy shows visual proof that homemade laundry soap is cheaper, easier, and works better than the store-bought chemicals!
• Oil, Oil, No Toil, No Trouble — K from Very Simple Secret talks about her foray into the oil-cleansing method.
• I Need a Hobby — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro couldn't decide which experiment to run, so she did them all.
• 7 days of macrobiotics for a balanced family — The Stones make a [successful] attempt to release the "holiday junking" with 7 days of macrobiotic meals to balance their bodies and souls. Elisabeth at Manic Mrs. Stone includes an explanation of macrobiotics.
• Chemical Free Beauty Challenge — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction turned to natural alternatives for her daily beauty and cleaning routine, with great results.
• Greening my Armpits!? My Green Resolution — Shannon at The Artful Mama talks about how she decided to give up her traditional antiperspirant and make the switch over to crystal deodorants and definitely isn't looking back!
• Going Raw (for a while) — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom shares her family's experience with raw food.
• Do we get to eat gluten today? — Sheila at A Gift Universe has been trying to figure out if her son does better with or without gluten in his diet … but it's really hard to tell for sure.
• Hippies Can Smell and Look Fabulous Too! — Arpita of Up, Down And Natural details her experience of going shampoo-free and overhauling her cosmetics to find the balance between feeling beautifully fabulous and honoring her inner hippie.
• Our cupboards are full...but there's nothing to eat — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud takes on the challenge of chomping through the contents of her storecupboard rather than going shopping — but there's something that she just can't bring herself to do …
• Elimination Experiment 3.0 — MudpieMama recounts the messy adventures of her baby daughter trying to be diaper free.
• Family Cloth Trial — Amyables at Toddler in Tow talks about making and using family cloth wipes in the bathroom for the first time.
• Taking a Hiatus — Amy at Peace 4 Parents shares how her experience of much less internet interaction affected her family and how it will change her approach in the future.
• Trying Out the Menstrual Cup — Lindsey at an unschooling adventure ditches the tampons and gives menstrual cups a try.
• Managing Food Waste in Our Home — Tired of the holiday waste, Robbie at Going Green Mama takes a weeklong focus on reducing food waste in her home, and learns some lessons that can take her through the new year.
• Going Offline, Cloth Tissues, and Simplicity — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama muses over her time away from blogging and social networking. In addition, she shares her newfound love of cloth tissues and simplicity.
• The Oil Cleansing Method — Erica at ChildOrganics explores an easy, organic and natural way to tackle skin care.
• Experiments in Natural Family Living - Natural Toys! — Lani at Boobie Time enjoys the silence of natural toys and being more present with her son.
• Discovering a New City and Organic Foods — Amy at A Secure Base describes her family's switch to and search for organic foods for one week.
• My Experiment in Homemade Bread — Crunchy Con Mommy tried — and loved — baking her own homemade bread.
• Menu Planning: Stop the Excuses — Gaby at Tmuffin stopped the excuses and started planning her weekly meals, drastically cutting her grocery budget and stress level and improving the quality of foods she fed her family.
• My First Menstrual Cup — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children was pleasantly surprised with her first experience using a menstrual cup.
• My Natural Beauty Regime — Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry shares the results of banishing cleanser and soaps from her bathroom, as well as a couple of natural homemade recipes that have worked well on her skin.
• Unplugging and Creating a Rhythm: Our Experiment in Natural Family Living — Dionna at Code Name: Mama focused less on gadgets and spent more time with her family to create a healthy rhythm for the new year.
• Experiments in Natural Family Living: 5 First Steps Toward Preparing for a Natural Birth — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama discusses how she tackled the pressing matter of how to begin preparing for a natural birth.
• All you need is...vinegar! — Kristen at My Semi-Crunchy Life learns that one household product can replace all the cleaners in her cabinet.
• Nope Nada Ixnay Negative Pass Decline — Zoie at TouchstoneZ finds out what shakes loose if she says, "YES!!" to anything anyone asks of her over the space of 10 days.
• Reducing our exposure to toxins found in plastics — Syenna at Gently Parenting Twins throws out the melamine and BPA plastics which have been hanging around the kitchen for too long.
• Duh! — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares how she began the process of helping her 2-year-old son stop physically acting out.
• Experiments in Natural Parenting: Starting, Stopping, and Gaining Perspective — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings explains how pregnancy brain interfered with her attempts to complete an experiment, but how she gained some interesting perspective as she started and stopped several.
• From Experiment to Lifestyle — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares her experience avoiding processed foods for a month, and deciding to make it a permanent lifestyle change.
• From Disposable Paper to Reusable Cloth – AGAIN! — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle stops flushing trees down the toilet and switches to the softest ever butt-wiping material: cloth.
• Extra! Extra! Water Heater Turned Down, Mom Doesn't Notice! — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis finds an energy-saving experiment that's so easy she didn't even realize it was happening.
• Worm Tea — CatholicMommy isn't sure how successful her worm bin will be, but she's having fun anyway.
• Miles to Go ... — Rachael at The Variegated Life learns that when it comes to sleep debt, she's in real deep.
• My Month With Water Kefir — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries experiments with a new fermented probiotic drink homemade in her own kitchen.
• OMG Mom is Home... All Day Everyday: A Week-Long Experiment in Connecting — What a difference a week makes! Ana at Pandamoly is afforded a week off from work and takes the chance to reconnect and reattach with her 16-month-old son through an experiment in simply being there.
• Creating Healthy Family Recipes — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares her experiment with healthy, gluten-free recipes and a chocolate muffin recipe that was created during the experiment.
• Adventures in Alternative Haircare: No 'Poo — This guest post at Natural Parents Network from Amy at Anktangle chronicles a months-long journey into the world of no 'poo.
• My Experiment in Natural Family Living: Natural Family Planning — Birth control options are seriously limited for those of us trying to live a little closer to the earth, so Mama Psalmist experiments with natural family planning.